Scott Pilgrim vs the World (2010)

Starring: Michael Cera, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, 
Kieran Culkin, Anna Kendrick, Jason Schwartzman

Directed by: Edgar Wright

Written by: Edgar Wright, Michael Bacall

Duration: 1hr 52 mins

Rating: 2 out of 5

I really wanted to like Scott Pilgrim vs the World.  I love Spaced, and thoroughly enjoyed Edgar Wright’s first two movies.  Both Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz took elements from Wright’s seminal ‘90s TV show and gave them their own platform to breathe: Tim’s Playstation-all-nighter-induced zombie fantasies for Shaun, the John Woo shootout tribute episode for Fuzz.

SPACED:  SUCCESSFULLY TOWED A DELICATE LINE 

Scott Pilgrim is effectively an extension of the Spaced sequence where Daisy and Tim’s argument is intercut with footage of a Tekken bout.  Wright married this concept to existing material – Bryan Lee O'Malley’s series of Scott Pilgrim graphic novels – and hired leading man-child of the moment Michael Cera to star.  Learning that a movie is based on some obscure comic book doesn’t usually fill me with optimism, but hey, A History of Violence turned out pretty good.  I’ve enjoyed Cera’s work ever since the peerless Arrested Development; I grew up straining my thumbs on the NES and Mega Drive; and was suitably excited by the prospect of Edgar Wright’s big(ger) budgeted debut across the pond, so went into Scott Pilgrim vs the World with an open mind.

I tried to like it.  I really, really did.  But I hated it.

SOMEWHAT OVER THE TOP

Spaced was geeky.  Very geeky.  The DVD has the option to display a ‘homage-o-meter’ on screen that points out all the references, and when I watched both series this way I recognised the vast majority of them – so I guess that makes me pretty geeky, too.  But I’m not comfortable embracing the whole ‘geek chic’ thing.  I don’t have a sci-fi TV series obsession, I’m not into fantasy, I don’t love Spielberg or Star Wars, and I certainly would never attend a fans’ convention.  There’s nothing wrong with any of these things, but they’re a bit beyond me. Frankly, pure geekiness makes me feel queasy; I find it all just too childish and removed from reality – an arrested development, if you will.  Spaced came close to being too geeky but never crossed the line as it always had more down-to-earth and ‘adult’ material to supplement the nerdy stuff: the clubbing episode, casual drug usage, Mike’s guns, going to the pub.

Scott Pilgrim vs the World is like Spaced but with the geekiness undiluted.  Watching it is like downing a whole bottle of pure blackcurrant squash in one go, and I felt suitably nauseous from start to finish.

LET BATTLE COMMENCE... IF YOU REALLY MUST

I can’t help thinking that it was Jessica Hynes’ (nee Stephenson) matronly influence on the set of Spaced that stopped it from erupting into a fully-blown geekgasm.  I can picture Edgar and Simon trying to shovel more and more references, meta devices and visual trickery into an episode, and Jessica rolling her eyes and tutting, “Now come on boys, you’re just getting a bit silly now.”

Because with Scott Pilgrim, the shackles are off.  And it’s exhausting.

STUFF IS HAPPENING IN THIS SCREENCAP

The plot, if you must know, concerns our hero’s quest to win the heart of the gorgeous Ramona Flowers (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), a task that, for some ambiguous reason, requires him to defeat her seven ‘evil’ exes in hyper-reality Street Fighter-style battles involving huge swords, migraine-inducing visual effects and a general wealth of video game touches (finishing moves, power ups, energy bars, all that). 

I can sum this movie up in one word: annoying.  Within the first five minutes we’re introduced to Ellen Wong’s bubbly and hyperactive Knives Chau, possibly the most irritating love interest in the history of cinema.  I think we’re supposed to find her cute and adorable, but instead the effect is that she makes Michael Cera’s character seem like an idiot for putting up with her for more than one second.

BUBBLY, QUIRKY, KOOKY...  ALL SYNONYMS FOR "ANNOYING"

In fact, our hero is consistently portrayed as a bit thick, which is fine, but Wright and co-writer Michael Bacall make Scott's dimness so over the top it becomes completely ridiculous and alienating.  When he orders a CD online he doesn’t grasp that it won’t arrive instantly, and so sits cross-legged staring at the front door.  Hahaha, what a hilarious buffoon.

Mary Elizabeth Winstead is lovely, and I can understand any young man becoming besotted with her.  But her Ramona is so annoyingly morose and aloof that she lacks any of the sparkle that turns mere physical attractiveness into something magical.  Plus the way her hair kept on changing colour reminded me of the excellent Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, making me wish I was instead watching a movie that dealt with adult relationships in an adult way.

COME ON LOVE, CRACK A SMILE

Kieran Culkin’s flatmate is an annoying, smug know-it-all.  Anna Kendrick portrays his female equivalent; Kendrick is an actress who has aggravated me in everything I’ve seen her in, reminding me of a condescending younger sister who’s full of opinions and self-importance whilst actually knowing jack about life.  Which is exactly what she plays here.

The members of Pilgrim’s band, the Super Mario Brothers referencing Bob-Ombs, are all annoying, portrayed either as whiney emasculated males or Alison Pill’s sullen and acid-tongued bitch.

A MILLION MONKEYS RE-WRITING A MILLION THESAURUSES COULDN'T 

COME CLOSE TO DESCRIBING HOW MUCH THIS MAN IRRITATES ME

Then, for the pièce de résistance, we have Jason Schwartzman as the final boss.  I can’t stand Jason Schwartzman.  He was a nauseating brat in Rushmore and has since honed an obnoxious, hateable screen persona that gives Bradley Cooper a run for his money.  Spun, I Heart Huckabees, Funny People…  I wanted to strangle him every time. And with this flick he rises to his mugging, scenery-chewing, gurning peak.

BRANDON ROUTH VS HENRY CAVILL WOULD HAVE BEEN SPICIER

Pluses?  Well, Chris Evans displays a nice line of self-mocking irony that the rest of this earnest and eager affair could have seriously done with. And Brandon Routh’s amusing superhero vegan manages to both bring to mind his sorely-underrated Superman turn and remind us that he really should be a bigger star.

When it comes down to it, Scott Pilgrim’s biggest problem is that it’s a musical, with fighting instead of singing and dancing.  I hate musicals.  An ex-girlfriend of mine once chirped how wonderful it would be if real life was a musical, with everyone bursting into spontaneous choreographed song and dance numbers all the time.  It wouldn’t, it would be awful.  I cringe so hard when I’m forced to sit through a musical that my face has lines imprinted on it for several subsequent days.  Exactly like my experience watching Scott Pilgrim vs the World.

IF THIS REALLY WAS A VIDEO GAME, I DON'T THINK MANY
PEOPLE WOULD CHOOSE TO PLAY AS WET DOOFUS SCOTT

Wright is obviously a highly creative and visually adept filmmaker.  I just hope next time he eases up on the energy drinks and rediscovers the balance of nerdiness and maturity that made his earlier work so unique and enjoyable.  **

Marked for Death (1990)

Starring: Steven Seagal, Basil Wallace, 

Keith David, Joanna Pacula

Directed by: Dwight H. Little

Written by: Michael Grais, Mark Victor

Duration: 1hr 33mins

Rating: 3.5 out of 5

Every action hero needs at least one movie where he plays someone called John.  With Marked for Death, Steven Seagal adds his name to a roster that includes Arnie (Matrix, Kimble, Kruger), Sly (Rambo, Spartan), Bruce Willis (McClane, Smith), Wesley Snipes (Cutter), Harrison Ford (Ryan, Book) and Keanu Reeves (Utah, Mnemonic, Constantine). 

Yes, here our man plays John Hatcher, DEA agent extraordinaire, introduced bounding through the streets of a Colombian slum chasing a Danny Trejo lookalike.

HOLD ON A SEC...  THAT IS DANNY TREJO!

Hatcher and his partner’s undercover operation in South America then leads them to a strip club (of course) where “the deal’s going down in the back”.  Unfortunately they’re made as American cops, so *crack* *slam* *smack* later and… Seagal’s gone and sliced a guy’s hand clean off!  Perhaps with this movie he’s moving away from breaking limbs and more towards cutting them off altogether, a shift that I would wholeheartedly support. 

INSERT "LEND HIM A HAND " JOKE HERE  

But it’s not all fun and body-mutilation games.  Hatcher’s partner is gunned down by a pistol-wielding prostitute, prompting Hatcher to return to the US and declare to his boss (played by John Carpenter favourite Peter Jason, another random and welcome cameo) that he’s quitting the cop game, then swiftly head to his family home back in the sleepy Chicago suburb he grew up in to reassess his life.

SOME KIDS HAVE SPORTS TROPHIES ON THEIR WALLS.  OTHERS...

That’s right, this is one of those action movies where the leading man vows to put aside his violent ways, and the pony-tailed one duly (and dully) spends most of the first act actively avoiding conflict.  Happily, we are reminded that a retraction of this uncharacteristic pacifist attitude is never far away, not least by the impressive gun collection Hatcher keeps on the wall of his boyhood bedroom.  Holy moly.

Hatcher takes a stroll around the pitch with school football coach buddy Keith David, wherein his old pal brings him up to speed on the town’s escalating drug problem.  Indeed, we intercut with Jamaican dealers trying to peddle crack to the WASP-y student body – including one who looks like a young Hilary Swank.

HOLD ON A SEC...  OH, NEVER MIND

For a while it seems like this is going to be a preachy Just Say No movie, with Steve as Chief Enforcement Officer – sticking his nose in (to wit: “You want some blow?"  “Yeah, I want some blow – put your hands up or I’ll blow your head off.”) but keeping his fists more or less to himself.  That is, until the event that seems to be a Seagal movie staple turns up: the Jamaicans target his family.  This is the line for John Hatcher!

"YOU FUCK WITH MY FAMILY, YOU DIE!"
(WHICH IS ALSO THE FILM'S PLOT IN ONE LINE) 

So he and his equally-vexed mate (no one does pissed-off quite like Keith David) react accordingly:

DAMN...  IF I WAS THOSE JAMAICANS, I'D BE JUMPING
ON THE FIRST PLANE BACK TO KINGSTON 

From this point on, Marked for Death is a succession of action set-pieces, hand-to-hand combat (Steve still breaks plenty of bones, and even graduates to a decapitation!), and quips (“Give me what I need and I'll leave here a nice guy.  If you don't, I'm gonna fuck you up.”). One particularly effective car chase climaxes with the baddies’ car jumping the curb and smashing into a damn jewellers. 

ONE SOLUTION TO INADEQUATE URBAN PARKING FACILITIES

It’s a shame that the plot is essentially the same as in Hard to Kill – and, come to think of it, Above the Law: Steven’s loved ones are threatened, he retaliates, job done.  But the vengeance is executed in a satisfyingly ruthless manner, especially during a climatic trip to Jamaica, where the tropical scenery makes a welcome change and our hero ultimately atones for any fanciful notion that he would no longer get his hands dirty.  It lacks the humour of HTK, but makes up for it with some top-drawer violence and is an entertaining enough time waster, Mr Seagal delivering exactly what's required of him.  ***1/2

JAMAICAN ME ANGRY... (SORRY, REALLY SORRY)

Coming soon: the final part of my look at early Seagal, Out for Justice!






*UPDATE* 24 January 2012 


Here is as comprehensive a list of action movie Johns as you are ever likely to find:  http://www.imdb.com/board/bd0000122/nest/193240342.
(And I've also since been reminded about Johnny Rico in Starship Troopers.)


See also: 
Above the Law (1988)
Hard to Kill (1990)
Out for Justice (1991)

10 Best Action/Adventure Movie Scores

This list of adrenaline-pumpers is compiled in order of release.

Superman: The Movie  (1978) – John Williams

Despite not considering myself a hardcore Man of Steel fan, when I sat down to watch Superman Returns in the cinema and heard the opening notes of the familiar theme, the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end (and the movie is pretty damn underrated, too).

Raiders of the Lost Ark  (1981) – John Williams

The word ‘adventure’ expressed non-verbally.  No number of shitty it-was-all-aliens sequels could ever dilute its power. 

Conan the Barbarian  (1982) – Basil Poledouris

The ultimate ‘going into battle’ music.  As silly, fun and epic as the movie itself.

Back to the Future  (1985) – Alan Silvestri

Somehow manages to be both rousing and light-hearted at the same time. 

Die Hard  (1988) – Michael Kamen

The score that other action movies wish they had.  Exciting, tense, never repetitive, and communicating genuine peril.  Bravo.

Batman  (1989) – Danny Elfman

The best Batman theme, portraying all the moody majesty of the character and the dark torment that defines him.  Elfman does as iconic a job as Williams with Superman, but creates a totally different feel.

Jurassic Park  (1993) – John Williams

You don’t have to remember being a child in 1993 and watching this film in an era when the sight CGI dinosaurs still made jaws drop to appreciate one of the most gorgeous pieces of music ever written.  But it sure helps.

(And if you’ve never heard the glorious 1000% slower version, check it out immediately: http://soundcloud.com/birdfeeder/jurassic-park-theme-1000-slower)

The Rock  (1996) – Hans Zimmer, Nick Glennie-Smith 
& Harry Gregson-Williams

 This is the definitive Zimmer action score.  In six and a half minutes it delivers everything you need: tense, mysterious build-up; slow, mournful strings for the poignant sequences; a balls-out assault on the senses for shoot-outs… all infused with a po-faced military vibe.

Starship Troopers  (1997) – Basil Poledouris

'Bombastic' is the only adjective that does this score justice.  It treats a silly, gory outer space romp as if something really important is afoot, providing the perfect lack of subtlety to go hand in hand with Paul Verhoeven’s playful fascist satire.

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl  (2003) 
– Hans Zimmer

Pirates were not cool when POTC: TCOTBP came out – Jerry Bruckheimer and Disney needed to sell a totally non-zeitgeist subject matter to a cynical audience.  They already had one ace up their sleeve with a certain actor/character combination, but Zimmer provided the glue that sticks the whole enterprise together, channelling the vibe of classic swashbucklers into the modern age.


See also:
10 Best Horror Movie Scores

20 Rounds of Schwarzenegger vs Stallone (part one)

7 Rounds of Jerry Bruckheimer vs Joel Silver

Predators (2010)

Starring: Adrien Brody, Alice Braga, 

Topher Grace, Laurence Fishburne

Directed by: Nimrod Antal

Written by: Michael Finch, Alex Litvak

Duration: 1hr 47 mins

Rating: 1 out of 5

I read an article recently in which a famous screenwriting 'guru' stated that a viewer will instinctively decide whether they are going to like a movie within the first fifteen minutes. Suck them in during this opening quarter of an hour and you should keep their interest until the end.  Fail, and you’re unlikely to get them back.

NOT A GOOD OMEN OF THINGS TO COME

Well, I can pinpoint the exact moment during Predators when I realised I was not going to like it.  It was the bit where our disparate gang of mercenaries is suddenly attacked by giant CGI pig creatures.  “Hmm,” I thought to myself. “This is a bit shit. I hope the rest of the film isn’t this bad.”  Sadly, it just kept on producing more and more ‘CGI pig moments' and eventually ran out of time to redeem itself, instead piling on more and more evidence of its true identity:  a lazy belated cash-in of a much-loved classic.

Post-film, I staggered out of the cinema and collapsed on the pavement to violently throw up into the gutter, my body desperately trying to purge itself of what it had just endured. My friend and viewing companion then offered the following:  “Come on, mate, considered just on its own terms it was basically an OK sci-fi action flick.”

WISH I WAS WATCHING STAND BY ME INSTEAD (WHICH, INCIDENTALLY, 

DOES ACKNOWLEDGE THAT IT'S BASED ON EXISTING MATERIAL)

He had a good point, I considered as I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand – it is best to judge things in isolation, not by how they relate to anything else.  But this is no easy feat:  modern audiences almost always start watching a film with the context at least somewhat in mind.  If they’re watching because of a star or director, they’ve considered that person’s reputation.  Genres carry with them certain expectations, as do sequels, adaptations and remakes; not forgetting the hard-to-avoid reviews, pre-release buzz and word of mouth.  Stumbling across something randomly with no prior knowledge of it does still happen, of course (mostly via late night TV), but for most viewers it is extremely unlikely that no frame of reference will present itself.

LITERALLY THE ONLY SHOT THAT REMINDS US THAT WE'RE
NOT IN A MADE-UP SOUTH AMERICAN COUNTRY THIS TIME

My disappointment in Predators comes from a number of factors.  Not only is it a sequel, but also a reboot of a franchise that had been spun off into a ghastly new direction in recent years – finally, an apology for (shudder) Alien vs Predator and (shudder with convulsions) Alien vs Predator: Requiem.  To add to this, producer Robert Rodriguez claimed that this was a follow-up to Predator, not Predator 2, effectively declaring the 1990 movie non-canon and calling this new effort a replacement – bold words, considering the Danny Glover-starrer is still held in high regards by most fans.

Not only is the viewer piqued by all these factors, but it soon becomes painfully obvious that the filmmakers themselves were also hampered by this baggage.  Predators was not supposed to be a remake, it was definitely conceived as a sequel.  But somewhere along the way the homage-o-meter got cranked up so high that what we the ticket-buying public ended up with was an inferior redo.

OUR HEROES – THINGY AND WHATSIT

Seriously, there’s the odd sly nod to the audience here and there, and then there’s outright plagiarism.  Here is a run-down of exactly how Predators shamelessly copies Predator:

Use of Little Richard’s Long Tall Sally.

“What the hell are you?" 

Ol’ painless mini gun. 

A waterfall fall. 

"Over here ... turn around." 

A human vs Predator blade fight, onscreen this time (and crap).

The mud-caked hero one-on-one with predator.

"Kill me! Do it! DO IT NOW!!!" 

"You set us up!"

A log-swing trap.

Excerpts from Alan Silvestri’s original score.

Only one female member of the group, and she’s Hispanic-looking.

"You are one ugly motherfucker!"

The protagonist is left alone with the woman and the wimpiest character at the end; wimpy character gets hurt.

IN THE TRAILER, HE HAD DOZENS OF THESE ON HIM.  WHAT A CON 

I haven't felt this cheated since The Hangover Part II, but Predators is the worse offender by virtue of being connected to a series I hold dear from my childhood.  It isn’t a quick cash-in like ‘Hungover Again’ (as I’m hoping it might someday retrospectively be re-dubbed) – there’s been twenty years since the last stand-alone Predator movie.  New cast, new writers and director – surely that combination of time and fresh talent should have been able to produce more than a total rehash.  Instead it feels like Nimrod Antal was directing with a monitor showing the 1987 movie on a loop next to him.

"HI, I'M LAURENCE FISHBURNE.  I'LL BE RANDOMLY
TURNING UP IN YOUR MOVIE TODAY"  

Antal’s flat direction provides neither horror nor thrills.  The characters aren’t memorable, likable or interesting (the legendary Danny Tejio’s part gets cut into near non-existence). And, in the most predictable of all its faults, there’s not nearly enough gore.  The only bold move it makes is in the casting of Adrien Brody as the lead.  But his one-note performance simply results in the character being your standard cut-and-paste beefcake protagonist; the other out-there casting choice, Topher Grace, sticks out like florescent green blood on a rainforest leaf. 

*SIGH*  HELLO, OLD FRIEND...

One other way we viewers are conned is that we were led to believe that this flick would feature humans facing off with several predators.  The trailer’s money shot is Brody’s littered with dozens of three-dotted laser sights, and the movie’s very name is a plural.  If Predators had followed through with this promise, then it could have been something new and entertaining.  Instead, there are only three or four predators, and never all together, so what we’re left with is a group of humans setting traps and facing off with one alien beast at a time.  Just like in – that's right! – the original Predator. 

DON'T THINK ANYONE FORESAW THIS WHEN WATCHING THE PIANIST

I’m reminded of 2009's excellent District 9, which managed to be highly reminiscent of Aliens, The Fly and Robocop but still felt like something completely new.  Artists can’t help being influenced by and, indeed, stealing from their idols – the difference is if you have something personal to say and stay true to that then you will produce something original.  The only thing Predators has to say is: “Hey, you liked the other film.  This is same same same!  But now now now! So give us your mooooooooney!”

Ugh, I suddenly feel my dinner repeating on me…  *

Pulp Fiction (1994)

Starring: John Travolta, Samuel L. Jackson,

Uma Thurman, Bruce Willis, Tim Roth,

Ving Rhames, Eric Stoltz, Harvey Keitel

Directed by: Quentin Tarantino

Written by: Quentin Tarantino, Roger Avary

Duration: 2hrs 34mins

Rating: 5 out of 5

Ever since I read Tarantino's original non-chronological script for True Romance a few years ago, I’ve wondered what Pulp Fiction's four days amongst L.A.'s crime underworld would be like if watched in a conventional beginning–middle–end manner.  

Well, I recently stumbled upon a link to such a version that someone's edited together and posted up on YouTube (major props go out to 'Crimewriter95' for his efforts): 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4W8p1MVrueg&feature=player_embedded.

Now, a flick like this is always going to reward repeat viewings, with new details and subtleties emerging – yet Pulp Fiction is one of the most over-analysed pieces of celluloid of the last 20 years, so hasn’t everything that can possibly be said about it already been rehashed ad nauseum? 

Maybe.  But this re-edit changed the movie's familiar ‘rhythm’ and allowed me to take a step back and watch this masterpiece from a different perspective, bringing to light some things I had never quite clocked before.  Here are my top 25 observations.

IMPRESSIVE BRAND LOYALTY FROM VINCE

1.  So Vincent Vega (John Travolta) was in Europe for three years, and despite popping into McDonalds all the time he never once wandered into a Burger King?  Seriously?

2.  'The holiest of holies' is pure poetry.

3.  Jules’ (Samuel L. Jackson) 'Let’s get into character' should be a more famous line.  It seems his character in the apartment is charming but prone to bursts of rage, whereas Vincent is silent and mysterious.

BET HE ACTUALLY EATS BIG KAHUNA BURGERS ALL THE TIME

4.  Does Jules really have a girlfriend, vegetarian or otherwise?  He doesn’t seem too concerned about her when he’s planning to ‘walk the Earth’ over breakfast.  I wonder if this lady actually exists, or whether she's just part of his 'character'?

5.  Was Vince lying when he said he never watches TV?  He seems pretty familiar with Cops.

"OK, WHO LET QUENTIN WALK IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA AGAIN?!"

6.  I’m sorry, but how does a badass gangsta like Jules end up associating with a whiney little twerp like Jimmie?  And then Jimmie has the gall to shout him down and brandish the 'N' word all over the place.  Just to be clear, that’s Quentin Tarantino successfully intimidating Samuel L. Jackson.  This is even more embarrassing than QT’s cameo in Death Proof.

7.  What kind of function is Winston Wolfe (Harvey Keitel) attending at 8.45am?  Some sort of classy all-night drinking session?

POOR OLD WINSTON PROBABLY JUST WANTED
 TO SPEND THE WHOLE DAY UNDER THE DUVET

8.  Damn, Jules and Vincent sure do go through an awful lot on empty stomachs.

9.  Honey Bunny (Amanda Plummer) says, "A coffee shop" as if she’s reading the scene heading on the Pulp Fiction script.

I HOPE HE WASHES HIS HANDS AFTER THESE
 FREQUENT VISITS TO THE LITTLE BOYS' ROOM

10.  Look, that’s Vincent walking to the crapper over Honey Bunny’s shoulder, whilst Pumpkin (Tim Roth) is introducing his plan! 

11.  Ringo Starr was a Scouser (from Liverpool) and, as such, sounded vastly different to Roth’s mild London accent.

THERE MAY BE TROUBLE AHEAD...

12.  Oh, Lance (Eric Stoltz) says he is out of ‘balloons’ (the more traditional way of carrying heroin – I looked it up) so he gives the smack to Vincent in a ‘baggie’, in the manner that one might hold cocaine.  So this foreshadows Mia Wallace (Uma Thurman) mistaking the two drugs when she searches Vincent’s coat.

13.  Is Vincent the most casual representation of a heroin user ever depicted by cinema?  It’s not exactly Requiem for a Dream.

14.  These days, Vince would just whip out his I-Phone and look up that Fox Force Five show on Wikipedia to find out the joke.  Which would be crap.

SUBTLE...

15.  Would someone really do class A drugs right out in plain sight in the middle of the ladies' room?  Is this showing how irresponsible and wild Mia Wallace is, or do people just do whatever the hell they want in L.A.’s public restrooms?

16.  I’m starting to find it a little unrealistic how unafraid Vincent and Jules are of their supposedly hard as nails boss, Marcellus Wallace (Ving Rhames).  Jules raises his voice at him over the phone; Vince asks Mia, who he’s only just met, some pretty personal questions over dinner that would pique even the most laid-back husband; and then later, when he’s wrestling with his conscience in the bathroom mirror, Vince ponders his ‘moral test’, never mentioning that Marcellus would surely have him capped if he came anywhere near the man's wife.

17.  Just who is this Trudi girl (Bronagh Gallagher)?  She looks about seventeen and seems to be just hanging around Lance's house, talking about body piercing with his wife and smoking a bong whilst watching TV with him.  Earlier, Lance was actually trying to pimp her out to Vince.  And she has an Irish accent...  is the drug dealer also running some kind of European sex trafficking operation on the side?

GAP YEAR STUDENT?  TRAINEE NURSE ON
AN EXCHANGE PROGRAMME?

LANCE'S COUSIN VISITING FROM THE MOTHERLAND?
CORK RUNAWAY TRYING TO MAKE IT IN HOLLYWOOD?

18.   Come to mention it, Uma Thurman looks about seventeen when Vince drops her off back home after the near-overdose.

AND ON A SCHOOL NIGHT AND EVERYTHING!

"SORRY 'BOUT THAT, FLOYD"

19.  Cab driver Esmarelda Villalobos (Angela Jones) is interesting enough to have her own spin-off movie… wait a sec… http://www.imdb.com/title/

tt0115994/.  

20.  Butch (Bruce Willis) tells his pal on the phone that he and Fabienne and going to “…leave first thing in the morning”.  Leave in the morning?  Why the hell aren’t they hightailing it out of Dodge and away from the supposedly dangerous Marcellus Wallace straight away?

21.  The ‘motorcycle movie’ Fabienne is watching seems to be about soldiers escaping from a POW camp – just like in Captain Koons’ (Christopher Walken) story…

22.  Does Vincent’s heroin usage directly lead to his death?  Not in the way Mia nearly checked out, but rather that he actually popped into the bog round Butch’s for a cheeky hit?

23.  Now I think about it, he was reading the exact same copy of Modesty Blaze round Butch's that he was leafing through whilst on the can in the coffee shop.  So does he carry the thing around with him all day?  Isn’t it a little big to fit in his suit jacket pocket?

VINCE'S SUIT MUST HAVE A...

... MARY POPPINS' BAG QUALITY TO IT

24.  Wait, what the hell is Kathy Griffin doing in this movie (as one of the women who crowd around Marcellus after Butch runs him over)?  Is she playing herself, like in that episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm? 

25.  I wonder if Tarantino got the idea of making Zed (Peter Greene) a security guard after seeing Robert Patrick's sinister turn dressed as a cop in Terminator 2?

SUNSET, HERE WE COME...

Watching Pulp Fiction this way definitely made for an inferior experience – the movie felt pretty long and drawn out, its pacing and energy severely hampered.  One thing became abundantly clear: The Gold Watch is the most satisfying of the three stories, feeling almost like a mini bonus movie tacked onto the end, and Butch and Fabienne’s ride away on the chopper is just as good an ending as the usual one – maybe even better.  *****