Speed (1994)

Starring: Keanu Reeves, Dennis Hopper, 

Sandra Bullock, Jeff Daniels

Directed by: Jan De Bont

Written by: Graham Yost

Duration: 1hr 56mins

Rating: 2.5 out of 5

Speed. I have issues with Speed.  I’ve had issues with it ever since I first watched it during my 12th birthday sleepover party, when my pals and I were all hyped up for a thrill-a-minute ride that turned out to be a tepid disappointment.

I have issues with Keanu Reeves, who is totally miscast.  For him to work in an action role it has to acknowledge his unique slacker persona:  Point Break has him surfing, The Matrix includes that bit where he reacts to Laurence Fishburne’s leap between buildings with a dumbfounded ‘Woah!’.  In this, he’s just a crew-cutted gum-chewing knucklehead. 

WHO CAN FATHOM THE INTRICATE MIND OF JACK TRAVEN?

I have issues with how, for a so-called action movie, it doesn't have a single shoot-out.  Reeves' LAPD cop Jack Traven carries a sub-machine gun for a bit at the start… um… then later on he shoots a lock off a door with his service pistol.  Go, boy!

JOHN WOO MUST HAVE BEEN SHITTING HIMSELF

I have issues with Sandra Bullock, who whilst being lovely to look at, is rather annoying in this.

PRETTY, BUT ALSO PRETTY ANNOYING

I have issues with Jan De Bont’s direction, or rather lack of.  Oh my God it’s so intense, are they going to get off the bus?  Will they make that jump in the road? Will I be able to stay awa… *snore*.  De Bont manages to wring zero tension from the admittedly genius scenario, and his lack of ability as an action director was further evidenced by the string of duds that followed (Twister, Speed 2: Cruise Control, The Haunting, Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life).

 

OH, THE SUSPENSE

I have issues with Dennis Hopper.  A decent villain, sure, but being in such pantomime popcorn fare sent his career off into a trajectory as a psycho-for-hire that meant that we would never again bear witness to the raw evil of Blue Velvet’s Frank.  Plus Hopper’s Howard Payne supposedly has only one thumb, yet at one point clicks his fingers off screen whilst holding a phone with his good hand.  That has always irritated me.

"POP QUIZ, HOTSHOT!"

I have issues with portly Jeff Daniels playing a SWAT officer.  What was the casting director smoking?
 

DANIELS SHOOTS HIS AGENT A DISBELIEVING LOOK

I have issues with Reeves trying to ‘do an Arnie’ with quips like, “Yeah? Well I’m taller!” proving that not everyone can deliver cheesy one-liners effectively.  I also hate the clumsy exchange between Joe Morton’s SWAT leader and our hero at the start:  “Anything else that'll keep this elevator from falling?” “Yeah, the basement.”

I have issues with how, essentially, if you take away the budget and Hollywood players, what you really have is a dull TV Movie disaster flick, annoying supporting characters/possible victims included.

ALAN RUCK:  SMARMY YUPPIE BUS CRASH FODDER

 
Speed has to be the most overrated movie of the 1990s; an OK time-waster but nothing more, and certainly not one of the best in its genre.  If you want a blockbuster from the summer of 1994, rent True Lies.  If you want action movies with Reeves, Bullock or Hopper, check out Point Break, Demolition Man and Waterworld respectively.  Broken Arrow is a more fun handling of a Graham Yost script.  And if you want a decent Jan De Bont movie…uh… hmm.   **1/2